I am changing for myself.

I am working on my negative and pessimestic attitude, not because of what someone said or done, I am doing for myself. I need to feel better for myself so that I will better at relationships. I need to heal the hurts in my life and try to let them go. I need to feel better about myself because life is to short for pain and bitterness.

It will be a long journey to recovery but with hope and faith in my life, I can conquer the demon that rears his ugly head. I have been fighting this battle for over four decades but I will win the war.

Steps to change:

1. Weight loss of 20 pounds and rid myself of the flab that hangs on. By looking better on the outside, I will have a better attitude.
2. Run/exercise daily. Working out increases the feel good chemicals in my brain and along with my medication, this will be part of therapy. Note self>buy ipod.
3. See a mental doctor to talk about my past childhood.
4. Attend church service. I know that being around other people with faith will help me heal.
5. Journal journal journal!!!!
6. Attend Friday night crops at Vickies. Being around other people with same interests is good for developing friendships.
7. Read more books for they are my friends.
8. Smile more. I do not want frown lines.
9. Show a RAK (random act of kindness) daily. Doing small things for others lifts not only their spirits but mine as well.
10. Show my husband the love and support he needs. He has never failed me and I do not want to push him futher away.
11. Declutter the house. Getting rid of clutter declutters the mind.
12. Send cards/letters/e-mails to my friends.
13. Continue with my hobbies because it helps me take my mind off things.
14. Stop cursing, telling inappropiate jokes and gossip.
15. Look in the mirror each morning and tell myself I love you, you are a good person, have a great day.

As I think of more postive things, I will blog it here as a reminder to myself.

:)